It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
