we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
