We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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