He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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