i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
