I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
