Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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