I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize