I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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