Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize