Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize