We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
