This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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