Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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