You really coming over, don't trick.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
