seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize