you guys were way drunker than both of me
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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