pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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