bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
They took my balls.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
