we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
