we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
