haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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