There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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