wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
vagina is talking i cant
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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