I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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