C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
