Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
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