I think my vagina is haunted
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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