Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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