Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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