home. puking in laundry basket.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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