Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
