she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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