Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
