i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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