how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
