shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
