why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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