whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
