True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize