Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize