Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Randomize
