census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
