Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
