He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
