idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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