Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
