kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
