I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
