It's Friday. Sex?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize