Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
