We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
MIDGETS
????
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
