shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
