Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
