News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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