We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
