A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
