At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
it was like eating out sand paper
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize