Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
So vagazzling was a success
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
