I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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