return my video game
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
