and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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