Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Damn victory sex feels great
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