my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
