I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It's official drugs can't kill me
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
