so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize