no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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