Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I can text with my tongue
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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