I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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